Rustic Advice for Julia Gillard

Flannery or Jack-Ass?
Memo to PM Gillard and her Green Gillard Government who appointed Tim (It hainta never to raining agin!) Flannery to "prophet her the weather" as Part-time Panasonic Climate Commissioner: (source)

Wunce they was a king, who hired him a prophet to prophet him his weather. And one day the king notioned to go fishin' but the best fishin' place was nigh onto where his best gal lived. So he aimed to wear him his best clothes. 

So he called in his prophet and he says, "Prophet, is hit a comin' on to rain?" And the prophet says, "No, king, hit aint a comin' on to rain, not even a sizzle-sozzle," So the king he put on his best clothes and he got his fishin' tackle, and he started down the road towards the fishin' place and he met a farmer ridin' a jackass. 

And the farmer says, "King, if ye aint aimin' to get yore clothes wetted, ye'd best turn back for hit's a comin' on to rain, a trash-mover and a gulley-washer." But the king drewed himself up and he says, "Farmer, I hired me a high-wage prophet to prophet me my weather and he 'lows how hit hain't a comin' on to rain not even a frog-duster." 

So the king he went a fishin' and hit come on to rain, a clod-buster and a chunk-mover. And the king's clothes wuz wetted and they shrunked on him, and the king's best gal she seen him and laughed and the king was wroth and he went home and he throwed out his prophet and he says, "Farmer, I throwed out my other prophet and I aim to hire you to prophet me my weather from now on'ards." 

And the farmer says, "King, I haint no prophet. All I done this evenin' was to look at my jackass' ears. For if hit's a comin' on to rain his ears lops down and the harder hit's a comin' on the lower they lays, and this evenin' they was a layin' and a loppin'." 

And the king says, "Go home farmer, I'll hire me the jackass." And that's how it happened. And the jackasses have been a hold in' down all the high wage governmint jobs ever since!

h/t George H Taylor who  retired in 2008 after 19 years as State Climatologist for Oregon. He now operates Applied Climate Services of Corvallis, Oregon.


  1. if any one is looking for Tim F he's down the bottom of my garden with the Pixies feeding my Roses with copious quantities of verbal excreta


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